I never remember my last breath of natural air once I am submerge under a body of water. My focus is always on the current breath, which comes from a cast-iron tank attached to my back. As long as my lungs are not deprived, my sight stays heavily absorbed with shades of blue.
I enter the shimmering sea knowing a WWII shipwreck is soon to be explored, but now in the shallows there is only empty blue underneath. However, distance begins to separate me from the surface. With each meter that adds to the gap I discover light at a depth undetectable from above, but the bottoms is still not visible. Cautious of the possibility that I will drop endlessly into nothing like an anxious dream, I look up to gain comfort from the boat floating overhead. Now a shady figure creates a disturbance in the endless spectrum of blue. Getting closer reveals a body with tremendous size. It is not until I hover over her bow that the ship's whole form is unveiled.
Viewing the ship from this position I only sense the death of the 1943 sailors, the feeling is morbid, yet calm. She lies to rest 115ft below the waves she used to sit atop of. Death always feels silent, but there is no silence equivelent to the one within the mass of the sea.
Although it is quiet, the world I am intruding into does not stay hidden for long. Fish swarm and circle with no fear, sea plants and sea fans wave gracefully as I glide by. An Amore Eel snakes out from under a piece of shipwreck. From above I can observe this creature without being detected and without being intimidated. Its dark purple skin ripples gently and the yellow specks along its sides flutter like dandy-lions in the breeze. I feel drawn to this eel, but under water I cannot spend all day. Moving on, in and out of cabins of the ship, through the engine room to the top deck, I stop and look down into a portal showing only blackness. Captured by the mystery of what may be below I stare, and as if it could feel my attention something stirrers. Moment by moment a long thin fish slowly creeps its way out of the hole. The fish is grey, absent of color, like a gost. Its head flat, its eyes white like something without a soul, but I know it sees me. We are looking at each other straight in the eyes. The fish's stair overpowers me. I lose my calm. Slowly, I back away, watching the fish do the same. Respect for the fish also feels like fear. I am an intruder.
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| Carlos, a Brazilian man, took these photos on our latest dive (no ship, sorry) |
Back on land having been inspired, I write this poem...
Blue means more than just the sea. Rich and empty, calm and cruel, if you look you can see worlds within worlds. Which do you resist, to which do you flee?
Enter this blue its layers, its currents. Free yourself of the mystery and drought of the surface, the waves torment all but those who enter. So, enter and sink to where the light from the sun reaches you barely, but its warmth is lost in the molecules above.
View yourself as the ocean, having a bottom to be discovered. Spend life straining to reach your own deepest parts, and all you will find is blue. This blue, the blues.
Under the sea I see life. Life among life among death among life. Above I see blue too, with no point of completion far to wide to ponder an end. Whispering possibility with silence, never pulling you apart. View yourself as you view this blue, view yourself as the sky.
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| Me (left) going to help another diver who is having trouble near the rocks |
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| Follow the fish into the abyss |
I am moved, feeling suspended in animation as I read of the under sea experience. Memories of diving with my son Nick and the sharks, yes, fear of the fish, always respectful of the ocean and of each other.
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